Marriage?

My Abigail is quite a delightful girl, full of questions and has numerous things to share with us.  She is four, and is now beginning to be very concerned about who she is going to marry, since her Daddy is already taken. 

A couple weeks ago, she announced that she will marry the man that stands on the street that waves at folks as they drive by all day long.  Yikes.  My initial response was to panic and then try to persuade her that she could not marry anyone that has a court ordered guardian due to is inability to function as an adult.  I managed to compose myself  so that I could find out what the attraction was.  She said he was nice to always wave at people.  So, I left it at that, and decided to wait this 'crush' out. 

This week, I had Abigail with me at work for a few hours.  She enjoys coming with me because it is the only time she is allowed to use markers (we've had too many comforters, walls, furniture, etc., ruined my her artistic pursuits).  She sat, working diligently on her version of a motorcycle, with her back turned to the store.  She heard a very loud, unusual voice greet Olivia and me, which caused Abigail to drop her marker and exclaim, "WHO IS THAT MAN?"  I told her it was the nice man that waves to everyone on the road.  Without missing a beat, she announced, "I don't think I want to marry him anymore." And went back to her doodles. 

Awaken Oh Sleeper

I have been so fortunate to work in a home town grocery store where I am able to bring my youngest, Olivia, with me.  I felt quite refreshed upon returning to my part-time job, due to six weeks of rest in the sanctuary of my home where we invited the peace of Jesus to reign as we adjusted to having the sixth member of our family join us.  After the first week of work, I began to realize how toxic of an environment it had been to me ... a place that slowly allured my attention from what truly mattered to me ... Jesus.  I became cynical, judgmental, selfish,and down right mean (not necessarily in action, but certainly in thought and attitude.)  I had been overcome by the main spiritual stronghold in this rural area we live in ...  poverty.  I immediately repented, and determined in my heart to not only cover myself, but to be sure that Olivia was covered in this place as well. 

I began streaming some worship through Pandora, but discovered that most of it was Christian Pop.  Don't get me wrong, Christian Pop is fine, and I like a good bit of it.  It just wasn't what Olivia and I needed to strengthen our spirits and to focus our hearts and minds.  Somehow I was led to check out IHOP out of Kansas City and discovered the live streaming of the Prayer Room.  After two minutes I was hooked.  The combination of pure adoration and worship of God and intercession was exactly what I needed. 

It also has reawakened something deep within... a reminder of my destiny, my purpose, my call.  Something that I slowly walked away from years ago.  It's funny how it feels to rediscover a passion.  Joy, life, determination, focus.  Yet sorrow, regret, and a longing for what was missed well up in my heart as well.

So, here I sit with these warring emotions. 
And a spirit that senses great things to come. 
Learning more of who I am
And who He is. 
<3