Time ....

The past two weeks have been a time of reflection ... of the past, the here and now, and of what is to come.

It all began with a conversation that Ben and I shared about how chaotic our lives are with little opportunity for rest in our home, with it being filled with four energetic, boisterous little people and all.  We shared some of our struggles with all of the activity and noise, but quickly came to a place of gratitude for our hectic home. You see, I began to count the years until each one of our children would be ready to venture out into this world on their own.  Isaac - six and a half years.  Emily - eight and a half years. Abigail - 13 and a half years.  Olivia - 17 years. I was immediately struck at how quickly these years will pass, as I reflected on how quickly the years have already gone. 

My heart was renewed with a desire to take pleasure in the crazy moments.  To relish the giggles of my girls and the witty sarcasm from my son that at times is so inappropriate that one can only help not to laugh, the spirited retelling of what happened during their day, the wide-eyed wonder at learning new ideas and facts, the swell in my heart as each one of them initiates an "I love you." and a hug. I find it easy to enjoy those times, but to remember in the moments that the children are tattling, screaming, or just being annoying, (which happens enough that Olivia now says, "Isaac noying!") that time is slipping by.  The tick-tock of time marches on.  A constant rhythm of growth and change.

Overnight, a year of Isaac being home with us has been swept away.  Yesterday was Isaac's last day of sixth grade.  Yes, it is only the middle of the year.  But because the boy has been gifted with a love of learning and abilities that are beyond his peer group, he has been promoted into the seventh grade. Words cannot begin to express how my heart bursts at the seams when I see him excel in the areas that God has gifted him, although I wish it wasn't at my expense. Yes, that is selfish of me. I know.  But the questions rage ... Will he be prepared to face the harshness of the world with one less year for his father and I to cover him? Will he be rooted in the Truth, and grounded in his identity so as not to be swayed by the ways of the world?  Will I be ready to release him?  Yikes.  That is the hardest question.

I am praying for a mother's heart that is prepared and willing to parent each of my children that will most benefit them.  That will prepare them for life.  That will allow them to shine.  And be bright.

On a side note, Abigail turns five tomorrow.  Where did the time go?